I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
