Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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