saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
