It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
