Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
