so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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