so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We got so high we made milksteak
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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