whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
