You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
