My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Two words: blizzard sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
