i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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