then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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