Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
