Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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