Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
