I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
wow bdsm is so cute
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
