Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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