i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize