found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
