did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
