he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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