So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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