I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
