Where is the hickey?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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