Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
