Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I accidentally burped into my bong.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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