White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish I only lived at night.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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