Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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