I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
