Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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