Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize