So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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