One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize