how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
