are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
