I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize