I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
