she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
