I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
