im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
