He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
