I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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