Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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