she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
