i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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