We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
