I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
