she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
