Your tits are I can't wait for
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
