Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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