last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
there is glitter all over my balls
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
