I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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