over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
