oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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