love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
