real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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