Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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