There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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