Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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