this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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