Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
