He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need water and some morals
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
