I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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