oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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