Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize