i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
