I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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